This Nap’s for You.

…if there is one thing I’m an expert at, it’s taking a nap.

I have to give credit where credit is due- I’m from a family of nappers, my dad being reigning king. In all honesty, I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life. He can literally fall asleep in 62.2 seconds. If he’s sitting up, there’s a very strong possibility that he’s taking a nap. The real kicker? In 62.3 seconds, the full-snore is in effect. He will fall asleep, anywhere at any time. I’m genuinely surprised that he doesn’t sleep during church.

Now my mom is less subtle w/her naps. I don’t think my dad has intent-to-nap, it just happens. Mama,… she naps on purpose. At any given time, when she is ready to go to sleep- she gets a pillow, a blanket and lays downs. She doesn’t care who’s around, she’s taking a nap. And just like my older sister, Kathy… the best nap takes place in the bed. But, if Mama’s in the bed, she never wants you to know that she’s actually taking a nap. Her excuse? “I’m resting my eyes.” (defined by Webster as ‘taking a nap’)

But both my sisters? Also nap takers…. Well, Krystal isn’t as much of a nap taker as she is a ‘if you wake me up, I’ll punch you.’ You have to be fully armored to wake Krystal from any type of sleep; man…. she’s an ugly sleeper! I feel sorry for her husband for ever having to wake her up a day in his life. She’s the sweetest person ever, talks a lot, never met a stranger; but I am literally scared for my life to ever wake her up from sleeping. BUT,….once she actually gets out the bed- she’s good to go!

When we were little, Krystal used to talk in her sleep….like full conversation that made little to no sense at all. I’m not a sleep talker, but I am a sleep responder. If you start a conversation w/me, I’ll talk back. Krystal is a sleep-talking, conversation starter. She might wake up in the middle of a sleep cycle and ask you how your day was at work today….

Kathy… like me… just likes to nap! We don’t have to be tired, or have had a long day… all it takes is the intent-to-nap (which we were both born with). Just thinking about it now is making my eyes burn, it’s 7:00 on a Thursday---- perfect day for napping.

If there’s one person that hates more than anything the very thought of sleeping the day away, it’s Joe Driver. First, I should mention that Joe (like my Dad) doesn’t fall asleep on purpose. When (and if) Joe takes a nap, it’s b/c it snuck up on him. Two hours ago, Joe fell asleep on the couch and when he woke up, he resumed watching TV like he hadn’t been asleep.

TJF: “I guess you were tired, cuz you’ve been asleep for almost a half an hour.”
JWD: “I wasn’t sleeping.”

{not only does Joe not like to nap, he doesn’t like for me to know that he indeed has napped.}

TJF: “Swear on our love that you weren’t sleeping.”
JWD: “I swear on our love I wasn’t sleeping.”

{not only does Joe not like to admit he’s napped, most of the time, he sincerely doesn’t know he’s even been asleep.}

TJF: “When you closed your eyes, it was 5:00. It’s now 5:30… you were asleep.”
JWD: “Oh…. I didn’t know.”

…..my point exactly!

I read an article today that says, “You need to sleep before learning, to prepare your brain, like a dry sponge, to absorb new information.” It also said that a Harvard Medical School study showed that a 45-minute nap improves learning and memory.

…that’s all fine and dandy, but I’d nap even if that wasn’t the case.

On Tuesday nights, I participate in a small group Bible study at my church. It starts at 6:30, but I need to be in route no later than 6 p.m. Two weeks ago, I got home at 5:45…. And yes, I laid my butt down, and genuinely slept for 15 minutes! It was the best nap EVER! Seriously… I kid you not, before I went to sleep I was grouchy and tired. A mere 15-minutes later, I jumped out of bed completely refreshed and ready to get my praise on!

Okay look, there’s an art to taking a nap. A true nap is when you are able to completely relax and close your eyes w/purpose. I’ll have you know that I woke up in the middle of that 15 minute nap (feeling like I’d slept for 8 hours) and said, “Yes!! 8 more minutes!!!” …the best naps are napped w/intention and purpose (remember that, they’ll be a quiz later.)

If I was a rapper, I’d write a song about napping and the name of the song would be “Tap that Nap.”

If I was a baker, I’d bake a cake dedicated to napping and it’d be called “Nappers Delight.”

If I was a wrestler, my signature move would be called “The Nap Down.”

If I was a hair stylist, my best style would be called “Wrap that Nap.”

If I was a gardener, the name of my garden would be “Nappy Roots.”

If I was a pimp, and you called to tell me that one of my hoes was acting up, I’d tell you to “Slap that Nap.”

If I was blogger, I’d write a blog about napping and call it “This Nap’s for You.”


...finna get on that nap,
~tjf